Today was Groundhog Day. I came out of my hole and saw a shadow. I guess that means six more weeks of genocide.
Life has no road maps, but the path we follow is lined with crash guards. When we happen to scrape against one, the marks they leave make us unique. Everything else is shiny and new, and nothing but a factory model, no different from the others. I guess that's where my widow fetish comes from.
Dogs have the unusual habit of eating cat shit. Humans have the unusual habit of eating bull shit.
Rocky was a movie about an underprivileged Italian man who worked out a lot to beat an underprivileged black man. Talk about striving to do nothing.
A stroke is a bad name for a funny disease. I can't swim without laughing.
Someone said I like to hang out in places that are dark and sad. Just like I like my women.
A snail is a slug that thought about salt first.
Religion is a conscience with an accompanying book and music and unnecessary guilt.
I saw my future in HD, and realized it looked better in digital.
I like to light candles before I got to bed. I find the glow to be calming. When I blow them out, I find the huffing of fumes to be intoxicating.
An ex wife is someone who can simultaneously make you realize that you were once great, once okay, once bad, and once awful. But forever stupid. And you can't live that down, no matter how many hookers you choke to death. But, oh, the giggles.